Taxes in New Hampshire

Years ago, usually sometime in early February, my wife used to lock me alone in a room with lots of paper, pens, and a calculator. She had strict instructions, just like the Gene Wilder character in Young Frankenstein, to not unlock the door or enter, no matter what she heard emanate from within. The door would be duly secured, and an hours-long marathon would commence. After much pounding on the table, issuing of expletives both blasphemous and impugning IRS employees' mothers' moral nature, I would emerge with two envelopes: one Federal, and one state. Invariably, the Federal one was easier and clearer, while the state one was seemingly written by a bunch of inebriated monkeys who merely re-arranged words from an insurance policy.

Imagine my immensely pleased surprise when, upon moving to New Hampshire, I learned that New Hampshire does not have a state income tax. Now, there are some fools in this world who, upon learning this fact, react with a very misplaced sense of joy because they believe that life is cheaper in New Hampshire. These same gullible folks will also react with glee when they learn that New Hampshire does not have a state sales tax, either. Having lived in states very much inclined towards sales taxes, I have that automatic mechanism in my head that calculates the % sales tax for every purchase and automatically adds it to the price while opening the wallet at the cash register; that mechanism has rusted a bit since I've moved to New Hampshire. Ha! Take that Taxachusetts!

Well, there are reasons to celebrate the lack of these two tax forms so common to the American experience, but Ladies and Gentlemen, I can assure you that the Piper demands his due one way or another; New Hampshire makes up for the lost revenue(s) by passing the burden for school systems, road maintenance, police and fire protection -- services elsewhere heavily subsidized by the state -- on to local towns, which means NH residents pay huge property taxes. The Piper will be paid.

Still, my gain is that I don't have to do state taxes each February, a major improvement in the quality of my life, so I raise my glass towards Concord, our state capital, and say "Salud!"