Sunday, July 25, 2010

Navigating New Hampshire

Actually, this is applicable to all of New England, but for most places you travel, you'll need to become familiar with some of the local landmarks to get around. However, New Englanders developed their own sort of primitive GPS system in the 1950s by which they still abide today: the DDSN (Dunkin Donuts System of Navigation). Founded in Quincy (pronounced "Quinzee" for you dirty, stinkin' foreigners who don't know better) Massachusetts in the 1950s, the Dunkin Donuts chain has not only kept New Englanders caffeinated and cholesterolled since then, but also serves as the distinctive landmark of choice for directions. Stop and ask directions from any local, and you'll be given flight plan-style way-points based on the local DD franchises to get you to your destination. Krispy Kreme? Tim Hortons? Baskin Robbins? No Sir -- or Ma'am -- the DDSN is somehow specially calibrated using Dunkin Donuts coffee, which I suspect is secretly loaded with cocaine because everyone in New England is utterly addicted to the stuff. But if it helps them get from Point A to Point B -- via a Dunkin Donuts in between -- who am I to criticize?

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