I have a theory. New Hampshirites worship Dunkin Donuts -- that much we've established. However, I think this obsession went from quaint, benign trait to life-threatening behavior the moment Dunkin Donuts -- or possibly, some other entrepreneurial soul -- invented cup holders. Now again, this is just a theory, but stay with me here.
This invention, the cup holder, forced New Hampshirites to make a decision, often while doing 85 mph in the midst of traffic. Indeed, traffic may be the important variable here because as the state's population has grown so quickly over the past couple decades, New Hampshirites have suddenly had to start dealing with other cars on the road rather than just the occasional skittish moose. That cup holder was the clencher, though -- it forced New Hampshirite drivers to divide their attention for a split second, a crucial split second. In the midst of traffic on a one-lane highway, with a large one-ton Chevy flatbed with several old engine blocks loosely chained on the back coming right at them in the on-coming lane, and a moose standing pensively off to the side on the shoulder, surrounded maybe by a flock of kamikaze turkeys loitering threateningly at the moose's feet, the New Hampshire driver has a decision to make: the cup holder for a fresh hit of java to help get them through this, or the turn signal.
Folks, I am here to tell you that the cup holder wins every time. Consequently, when driving in New Hampshire, you cannot and should not expect the drivers around you to signal their intention. As far as they're concerned, the fact that they are turning should be heads-up enough for you to discern that they intended to turn anyway, and they make that contention with full clarity, having just sipped some of the bitter black stuff.
